PROBLEMS WITH WATCHING MOVIES

Movies are enjoyed by the masses. Personally, I love movies. I can’t get enough of them. The success of a movie is based on two things: box office earnings and video sales. Even with this fact understood, there is one thing that makes me reconsider watching a movie. It’s not the ticket prices or the exceptionally high prices for concession items. As much as I love movies and understand how important box office numbers are, I can’t stand half of the people who watch them.

Too many idiots watch movies. Even the most entertaining movie can be ruined by one annoying person. People who talk, people who have cell phones that go off and people who have ridiculous laughs.

If you want to talk, talk outside. I can understand a little comment here and there, but when you comment, make sure that only your conversation buddy can hear it. I don’t want to hear your bullshit comments from across the aisle. If people thought you were funny, they’d probably laugh at you, instead of staring at you wondering what mental disorder you have.

Nowadays everyone has a cell phone. If you have a cell phone, it should be a badge of maturity. A sign that you are a big kid now and you have the judgment to know when to talk on the phone and when your phone should be on silent or off. I can understand the occasional buzzing when watching a movie. That tells me “Hey, I have a call, but I was considerate enough to dampen the annoyance by placing my phone on vibrate”. If I hear a polyphonic version of the latest 50 Cent song from your phone while I’m watching a movie I paid $10 to watch, however, that tells me “Hey! Shoot me 9 times in the chest!”

“As a human being, I have the right to laugh any way I want while I watch a movie that I paid for!” Fuck yea! I agree! But do it in the privacy of your own home. In fact, if you want to, invite some friends to watch a movie with you! Your friends will tell you how annoying the cacophonic siren that you call a mouth is. Annoying laughs are tolerable if they’re not louder than THX certified speakers and if they coincide with the laughs of others. If your laughs can break crystal glasses and you laugh at scenes that aren’t the least bit humorous, go to Blockbuster. You get to watch the “funny scenes” as many times as you want! And best of all, no late fees!